“Oh my goodness! You need to calm down! Mom and Dad know what they’re doing!” I said attempting to explain to her, the reality of the situation.
Unfortunately, my sister is as stubborn as they come.
“I really want to go! Please talk to them!” She begged.
“It’s not going to matter what I say!”
“They always listen to you! Please convince them to let me go out today! Please, please please! All my friends are going!”
“I can’t do that. They have their reasons for saying no.”
Then, she dropped the bomb.
“Fine. Obviously you can’t do anything for me. Clearly you don’t love me either.”
If only she knew how much I love her.
Now that I think about it, though, it wasn’t always that way…
I remember that day very clearly. 15th November, 2004. They day my life changed forever. We lived in New Jersey, and I was at Apple Tree Preschool. It was my turn to be class leader and I was beyond ecstatic!! I was going to get to lead the class to lunch and everything, but at 11:00, just an hour before lunch, a family friend of ours came to school, and said that I had to go back home! I was so annoyed! It was finally my turn! But no. Something had happened and I had to go.
As soon as we got into the car, I asked him, “Where are we going?”
He said we were going to be with mom, and that she was in the hospital!
“Hospital?! What happened? Is she okay?!?!”
“Oh no, mumma is fine! It’s just time for your sister to be born!”
“Sister? oh. Okay then…Can we stop and get some food? I’m hungry.”
“Sure”, he chuckled.
We stopped at McDonalds and I got a soft serve cone, and it was the most delicious thing ever! I suppose missing lunch at school was finally worth it!
Anyway, the rest of the day is sort of a blur to me, I don’t remember seeing that little brat for the first time, and there was definitely no overwhelming feeling of love for her. In fact, all I remember about the next few months is that that little, useless human was a total attention hog! When I made a cool piece of artwork at school and tried to show everyone, they decided that her spitting up was cooler than my amazing art skills.
As a three year old, that was a massive heart break, and I knew exactly who was responsible for it. That little…thing! ugh! I hated her.
Fast forward a few months, and we flew back to Bangkok to be with my dad. I don’t remember much of the plane ride back, but I clearly remember everything after we stepped back into our house.
There were balloons everywhere, and so many people had come to meet us! Finally! I was back with the people who loved me!
Boy, was I wrong.
Not one of them lifted me up in the air or spun me around like they used to. After quick hellos they all rushed to the carpet where my mom had laid that little alien out. They all crowded around her, and awed and ooh’d. They’d all forgotten about me! I sunk to the floor in the corner of the room and nobody cared. It hurt so much, I felt entirely and completely replaced.
But then, my dad’s friend came to me, and said, “You look like you’re feeling really hot, here give me that jacket.”
After he took it off of me, he grabbed my little hand and walked me over to my sister. As everyone gave way for me to see her for the first time in my home, I refused to look at her, but as I continued to stare at the ground, the awkward silence grew. So, I had no choice. I gave in.
I lifted my eyes and looked into hers. Her eyes met mine and she extended her tiny little hands towards me, as if she was asking for me. My eyes teared up, she really was adorable. And she was my sister, to love, and protect from everyone, always. The one person who, through all the fights, would inherently always have my back. And as a tear rolled down my cheek, my face broke into a wide grin. As I looked back at her, it looked as it she was going to smile back at me!
Her lips parted and just as we thought she was going to smile at me, her tongue slipped out, mocking me. That beautiful little baby, just stuck her tongue at me! What? I threw my head back and laughed, because it was that moment that gave way to my relationship with her now.
Every time I cry, she’s there to make me laugh. Every time she does something stupid, I’m there to protect her, and every time we fight, my heart breaks. Because I really love her beyond belief. That beautiful baby girl is now my sister, to love and always protect. I love her incredibly and I really hope she knows it.
~ Prisha Khimavat